Finally!

When I started this blog the idea was to share the uniquely funny stories that I find myself confronted with on a daily basis. Maybe some sports analysis/venting. Avoid certain crushing subjects (the 2 that cause to babble incoherently) I've done alright. But today I had a story that is PURE amy. Note, I really don't make this stuff up.
Allow me to set the scene, after a long day of working and class I forget to hit the bathroom and have to pee really bad (I'd had 2 bottles of water and a bottle of Mt. Dew). Walking home I thought to myself, if i was a guy or wearing a skirt, I'd pee on a tree or in an alley. (I pass several of each). So after my walk home I'm in extreme physical discomfort. Ok. Also today was replace the filter day for the convectors in each room. If you're not home, the maintance staff enters your condo to do it. They are supposed to leave everything how they found it. This is the first time I've not been home when the maintance people came so I was alittle nervous. But really, I'm grad student, the most valuable thing to steal would be my laptop. I figured it would be ok.
So I get home, get my mail, ride the elevator up. I'm sweaty, tired, cranky, and needing to pee. I get to my door and I see I have a maintance card "Bobby was in my condo today to replace the filters" Ok, fine. I turn the lock. I hear the deadbolt turn. I remove the key. I try to open the door. Nothing. I turn the lock again, I try the door. Nothing. Now about a month ago I had a problem with my lock because it's old and apparently my key wasn't cut perfectly to match the lock. Big shock. At some point I may want to upgrade. Before I would put the key in and be unable to turn the lock. Like a strong man could not turn the lock. Finally, the maintance person (Juan) got it. He sprayed stuff and since then it's been working fine-- actually better than before. So this was a different problem.
I turned the deadbolt probably 5 or 6 times. The same result. I was trying to stay calm. The door handle wasn't turning. At first I thought to myself was there a door handle lock that somehow they locked. But there's no key slot. At this point I was freaking out. They did something when they locked the door that made it impossible for me to get in. So I take my backpack and trudge back down to the lobby and talk to the doorman. He refers me to the management office. (Last time the doorman got me the maintance staff). The management office calls the maintance office and tells him "there's a unit owner that can't get into her unit. Please meet her at 1505" That was NOT the problem. Well it was, but that makes it sound like I locked myself out. She didn't include the part that someone from maitance [Bobby] DID something to my door. (The building has a staff of about 6 maintance men) So last time I waited in the lobby to meet the maintance person but now I was stuck waiting in the hallway. In the 10 minutes that I stood there a really scary couple came from a unit way down the hall. I'm sure they were wondering what the hell, but they didn't say anything. So eventually JUAN comes up... takes his master key out and turns the lock and while keeping the key turned he pushed the door open. I was dumbstruck. However, I knew the problem remained because I don't know how he did that. He takes my key and starts lecturing me about how it's a poor cut and how I need to turn it. I KNOW HOW TO TURN THE FREAKING LOCK. So finally I interrrupt and Is say how did you open the door without turning the handle. And he doesn't understand what I mean and keeps showing me how to turn the lock. And I'm like, the maintance people were in here today and now my door handle doesn't turn. And he says "oh you mean this, and he pushes some button under the hinge thing that apparently locks the handle in place. And I get excited and I say How did you do that... why is it like that? It's never been like that before. And he gets all defensive. It's for safety. That's how you lock a door. That's what we do. You only have one deadbolt. Anyone could just walk right in. <-- This is getting increasingly louder and more agitated. "it's not our fault if you don't want to be secure" he leaves in a nasty huff.
Here's the bottomline, they changed the locking mechanism in a way that in my 23 years of world experience did not know how to open. Had it been a completely new door, maybe I could have figure it out, but since me and this door go back almost 9 months, I've gotten to know its kinks (which are plenty) so how dare he talk to me like I'm in idiot. Well I know I am, but I was trying to be nice the entire time, even though THEY fucked up. For as nasty as he was to me, you would think I was being a raging bitch. I guess it's possible I came off bitchier than I thought, but I really don't think so. There's only a small handful of people that think amy=bitch. And the yelling at me and making me feel stupid was really uncalled for. There goes the old Christmas bonus... And the implication that I don't take safety seriously is laughable. I'm like UBER serious about it. When I'm home I always have the door deadbolted and chained. My guests have been known to laugh at that extensively. And seriously, if someone is going to pick the deadbolt, I bet they are capable of breaking off the door handle as well. Don't you think? It was just a realy unpleasant experience and for someone who is paying out the ass to live here, it was crappy. It made my whole opinion of the building staff drop which is bad because they are who I have to depend on when things break and stuff. And now I'm quasi-afraid of them. EXCEPT that I did NOTHING wrong in this particular case.

Moral of the story, learn everything about your door. Always use the bathroom before leaving a building. Don't assume that they're going to have to tear the door down just since you're not able to open the door. and finally, just be home when they change the convector filter. UGH UGH UGH.

It was a pleasant 45 minutes. I hope you have a better relationship with your building maintance staff.